Sixteen years come and go…

My Mum died sixteen years ago yesterday.

It’s a long time to be without her.

But as I explained to my own child, she was in so much pain at the end, that it was a blessing for her to die.

If you’ve ever sat and watched someone you love, fade away from cancer, then you’ll understand. There at the end, when their body has been decimated from the cancer, and they are just skin and bones, and pain….then for them to die, or pass away, or whatever euphemism fits your paradigm, then for them to breathe their last breath is a blessing.

No more pain for them, the agony of breathing stops, and they can leave this existence to pass on, to wherever they may go.

I can write these words now, it’s been a long lonely journey to reach the point where I can. The pain and anguish, the red hot gripping grief, these all must be passed through, to where you can look back and celebrate the life of the one who you have loved.

For this, I am grateful for. To have reached this stage, where I can write about it, and not been so overwhelmed that tears will fall and sobs will be wrenched from the hole that is left by the one who is gone.

I  will always miss her, but now time has healed over the worst of the grief….and for that I am grateful.

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