Fifteen Years on…..

Today is the anniversary of my Mother’s Death. Fifteen years have ebbed and flowed away since she died from a heart attack. Her body was decimated at the end by cancer, a bowel cancer that had raged against all the treatments, it had spread throughout her body, leaving her an exhausted skeletal figure, a shade of the former woman she had been.

Mum, was a wife, a mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, a daughter and a sister. At the time of her death, she still had an older sister alive, and two brothers who had adored her when she was growing up. She had raised five children, four daughters and one son. And had seen all of them, apart from me, go on to marriage, children and mortgages.

She’d seen her other children, start families, and have children, and in the case of my eldest sister’s family, produce another generation too. And she loved each and every one of us. Even me, the late bloomer, the one who was so dead set against falling into the traditional roles, the one who was resolutely single for a long time. And even though she found my decisions hard to understand, she loved me, and stood by me – even when we argued about them.

Her gift to all was the quiet wisdom that comes from having lived and served her country through a world war, a move to Australia away from the family she loved and adored in Yorkshire, to a strange place filled with strangers, following my Father on their quest for a better life for the children. A different life from the dour, northern life we would have experienced. One filled by opportunity and access to education, things my parents had never had.

At the end of her life, she was more open about her feelings, acknowledging that she missed her family, and those left behind in England. She would tell those around her that she loved them, and ended each phone call with I love you and I am proud of you. And I follow her tradition, to tell those I love because I’m not waiting around til I’m dying to let them know how important they are to me.

I want to say here, and now, that I am proud to be her Daughter, to have had the privilege of knowing her, and that I choose today to celebrate her life, after years of mourning on this day, I want to remember her for the life she lived, not the death that took her from us all.

To all those who experience loss, know that you’re not alone, and that there are others who will understand, just pick up the phone, or email and they’ll be there for you….


Tagged: , , ,

2 thoughts on “Fifteen Years on…..

  1. Hope*Rose February 21, 2013 at 5:42 am Reply

    I really feel what’s in this post. I recently lost my mother to cancer. March 22nd will be the one year anniversary. It seems surreal. It’s nice to read about someone who can relate. Thanks for the post. 🙂

  2. spicejac February 21, 2013 at 10:42 am Reply

    The important thing is to know that you’re not alone, that there are others who have lost Mothers and that we all understand what it’s like. Sometimes it’s difficult if you’re in a friendship group and no one else has, because it’s such a traumatic loss. That first year after my Mum died, was surreal too. I kept expecting to wake up and find that everything was fine and she was still there.
    Take care of yourself, and remember you’re not alone.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Loud Library Lady

Kate Olson ~ professional reader

Teaching Transition

Middle school is all about transitions.

Information Literacy Spaces

Improving students’ information literacy competencies and learning across the senior secondary and tertiary sectors

Ballarat Iyengar Yoga

Thoughts, Ideas and so much more

Ballarat Writers

Supporting aspiring, emerging and established writers in Ballarat and the Western Victoria region.



Zealot Script

Your Portal to the World of SF&F Literature


Just another site



...because libraries should be magic.

North Carolina Library Jobs

Library related job openings in North Carolina

Portland Orbit

Fetichizing disintegration

Aixie's Space

Bohemian, eclectic and colourful.

Love Hope Peace

Inspired by experience, nature, philosophy, people, language, yoga, books and music

The Thrifty Hunter

Making my way around Melbourne and beyond in search of precious designer and vintage thrift finds with a bit of fashion history involved

Local & Bespoke

think globally, craft locally

JoAnn Chateau

Dog-Lover, Writer & Progressive


A blog full of humorous and poignant observations.

Logical Quotes

Logical and Inspirational Quotes

Blookup Blog

Turn and print all your digital contents, blogs and social networks into amazing real paper books on

Press "M" for Menopause

My Life After Surgical Menopause

becoming mama with grace and humility

Raising a family on the roots of our Father. With Farm , Faith, and Family.

Adventures in International Law

Living the dream? You be the judge! Join me in my journey from corporate litigator to international lawyer. Here I will share my experiences in the world of international humanitarian and human rights law, as well as my cultural experiences, observations, and blunders along the way.

hearts on sleeves club

If you wear your heart on your sleeve, join the club.


Smile! You’re at the best site ever

Joanne Clancy

Writer of Killer Thrillers

There she goes

Bookgrrl's Blog!

Ballarat Library Chick

Thoughts, Ideas and so much more

The Travelling Bentons

The everyday impressions of the peripatetic Benton's Grand Adventures

International Book Giving Day 2018

#bookgivingday 14th February 2018

Alex McCart Writes

University pieces, news & opinion

What's Abby Eating?

"Eat food, mostly plants, not too much." - Michael Pollan

Recommended Reading

Thoughts from a high school teacher librarian

wanderlora's blog

Thoughts, quotes and pics from around the world

Bookin' It

So Many Books. So Little Time. Let's Review!

Gold Museum, Ballarat

Showcasing Ballarat's history


A Community Tribute of Respect and Remembrance

British Empress

Everyday ethical wear

Rich with Life

A "Rich" girl, learning to enjoy, enrich, and embrace each and every day.

livingly dying

notes & essays on daily life with terminal cancer

Tolu's Kitchen

Where delicious dairy, gluten, sugar, soy, and yeast free food magic happens

The Librarian Who Doesn't Say Shhh!

Opening books to open minds.


Knitting and Yarning from Downunder!

International Librarians Network

A meeting place for librarians from around the world.

%d bloggers like this: