Why is it that in this world of ours that we fail to acknowledge the impact that grief and loss has on our lives? That it’s easier to ignore these strong overwhelming emotions and just hope for the best?
I hit a wall two weeks ago, I’d moved house, started a new job and was trying to be the best supportive Mother and partner I could be. Then the anniversary of my Dad’s death came and went – I happened to start the job on his death day, and so had pushed and pushed my loss so deep, that it was there – a cold lump of sorrow burrowed so deep that it ached in the lonely hours of the night.
It emerged on a Saturday following the start of the new job, it erupted, bringing with it near hysterical tears and sobbing. The type of breaking in two sorrow, that I’ve felt before, and had so hard to ignore.
But this is the thing about sorrow, no matter how hard you push it down, try to ignore it or move on. It catches you and freezes you until it emerges, strong and fierce and at times frightening for all. Because we are not built to hide this type of emotion – even though in this society of ours, strong emotions are feared and ignored.
I had thought that I had moved past this time, but realise now that in times of extreme stress I have to be more careful on how far I am pushing myself. That by heaping all that stress onto my shoulders, my grief would need an outlet. An opportunity to feel the losses of all those folk I’ve known and loved. To allow myself this opportunity to grieve openly and for as long as it took to get that sorrow out.
It worked, I’d never felt so at peace then I did afterwards, I felt cleansed of the hard cold sorrow, and the fire of my grief.
I wonder how many folk try to carry on, to try and hide this grief, when it should be allowed to emerge….do you hide yours?
We’ve moved and was that an epic tale to be told another time. We’re now living in a community of less than 800 folk – imagine that – you walk down the main street and everyone knows you or knows of you. I love this sense of community, of knowing that you’re known. That we’re in a small community, not lost in a big city.
The downside – fresh food, and I’m desperately planting out my seedlings I’ve brought with us. Trying to establish a garden is my number one priority.
So for us 2015 means a brand new world, and exploring what it means to be living in a rural community.
When I was a new mum, there wasn’t much information about, we just made do. But it’s so important to reach out to new mothers and fathers and say hey are you doing okay? Is there anything I can do? Because as a parentless parent, it’s so hard those first few months trying to do it on your own with no support from family or firends.
Did you know that 74% of mums who were struggling were ashamed to admit they weren’t coping? Lack of information, fears of being judged and stigma is leaving mums uninformed, unsupported and feeling alone.
COPE: Centre of Perinatal Excellence which have officially launched their new website. Their sensitive, informative website (cope.org.au) provides emotional health advice throughout your parenthood journey – from preconception to pregnancy, birth and your first year with a baby.
Visit their website, and follow COPE on Facebook to be informed, inspired and support others through the many (often unspoken) challenges, that parenthood can bring.
How you can get involved:
You can get involved today by ‘liking’ COPE on Facebook to keep connected and part of their growing community and making a difference.
You can donate to COPE here
COPE invites you on the journey to raising awareness and being part of the growing momentum to inform parents, reduce the stigma and help to ‘keep motherhood real’. Be part of ‘keeping motherhood real’ by purchasing this limited edition keyring for you or someone you know. http://ow.ly/EjmAx #keepmotherhoodreal
Priced at just $9.95, all funds raised from your purchase will help us to raise awareness, reduce stigma and support women and men to seek help early
COPE: Because no one ever tells you, how hard it can be.